


Kiss Me Through The Phone

by hinliechten



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Inexperienced Teenagers Attempt Nsfw Things, M/M, Sexting, attempted humor, they are cherry boys why did i do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinliechten/pseuds/hinliechten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma and Hinata attempt to sext. </p><p>Naturally, it's the most embarrassing thing either has ever done. And with Hinata, that's saying something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me Through The Phone

**Author's Note:**

> PLS DONT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IM CRYING SO MUCH I WAS DARED TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY I'M LITERALLY SO SORRY
> 
> hinata = orange  
> kenma=red !!!

  
so i read this article about sexting. apparently it's a good way to get closer to your lover, especially if you can't see them that much... i think we should try it.

Kenma had to pat himself on the back. He never thought he'd even be able to type the message in the first place, but there he was, text typed up and miraculously sent without wanting to curl up into a ball and die... as much as he initially thought he'd want to.

He wouldn't have minded if the text didn't go through, of course, but the deed had been done and there was no turning back.

The last time he saw his ray of sunshine Shouyou was after a practice match between Karasuno and Nekoma. It took a lot of nerve (and pestering from Kuroo), but Kenma worked up the courage to invite him over for a sleepover and somehow, although he still had no idea how, they had finally gotten intimate. It was probably one of the most awkward nights of his life. One could only imagine fornication between two inexperienced cherry boys, but Kenma loved Shouyou and his wandering hands very much. He was elated that they had their first time together and that their relationship ascended to a new level.

Thinking about that night made his butt feel sore... in a good way. As much as Kenma tried to keep his cool, and as successful as he was most of the time, his boyfriend was way too cute to resist. Although he seldom had them, he was still a teenage boy with the occasional dirty thought, and Hinata Shouyou did not help repress his carnal instincts. It should be illegal to be that precious.

The second year played with his phone for what seemed to be hours, although it was really only ten minutes since Hinata tended to try to respond as quickly as he could when he wasn't at practice. The subject matter just made everything five times more nerve-wracking than it usually was.

that sounds cool! :-D

Kenma snorted. Only Shouyou would think sexting was cool. He was so cute...

Well, at least this wasn't going as bad as he thought it would.

so what's sexting???

...Correction.

It was going worse.

Shouyou's pureness was one of the many aspects he possessed that made him extremely endearing, but currently it added to Kenma's stress. He dropped his phone on his face, let out a frustrated groan, and tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't make him want to rip his pudding hair out.

uh... it's when two people who like each other a lot tell each other the things they want to do to each other through text. but like. dirty things. since it's, you know. sexting.

Kenma hoped that his definition was alright, way too embarrassed to search for a legitimate definition, and waited patiently for a response. He opened his Tamagotchi app in attempt to focus on something else. It didn't quite work since he named his Tamagotchi Shouyou, but nonetheless he attempted to wait out his agony.

A few minutes passed by until he got another text. He cleaned up Shouyou the Tamagotchi's shit before he opened it.

oh...

Kenma wanted to hit himself in the face. This is why he never tried to be bold or travel out of his comfort zone; Shouyou the Boyfriend probably thought he was really perverted now. He was about to type an apology when another text followed.

it seems...interesting!! i wouldn't mind trying it, although i'd probably be bad at it.

Oh, thank god. He let out a sigh of relief. He and the first year had been dating for quite a while now, but Kenma still had moments where he was scared of what Shouyou would think. He knew Shouyou wouldn't get mad at him or judge him, but it was hard to let go of his insecurities.

i'm sure you wouldn't be.

anyway, um. we should try it out. just... type out what you want to do i guess.

hmm... well! i uh. want to see you. and... since we're being dirty... i want do the stuff we did the last time we saw each other. >/////<

i-is that good?

The second year couldn't help but let out a small smile. Shouyou was way too cute, even when trying to get it down and dirty. He wanted to keep him for forever.

He would have been alright with just that text, but he wouldn't really be able to work off that, so Kenma decided to ask for more. 

haha.. yeah, same. 

but i think you should elaborate more. like what?

Kenma realized he should explain himself, sending another for clarification.

i'm trying to set up a mood.

um.... i don't really know what to say... could you say something instead? :S

hrm... well, okay.He pondered on a response, trying to remember some examples online and did his best to copy them.

shouyou. i want you to come over and fuck me.  That seemed like a good opening. It was simple, to the point, and Shouyou could definitely expand on that.

...k-k-kenma... .___.

Not knowing how to respond, Kenma continued.

i want you to take out your hard, throbbing cock and fuck me senseless with it.

Kenma waited, but it seemed like Shouyou would be unresponsive for a while, so he opened up his Tamagotchi to play some mini games before his boyfriend finally texted back.

um... kenma... you seem like you're good at this??? you really know what you're doing??? did you ever sext with anyone?! D:<

Kenma felt a blush graze his cheeks. 

no i haven't. i'm just basing this off stuff i've seen online...

oh...well you seem like a natural... .__.

nah. it's awkward for me too. 

Truthfully, Kenma felt like it was even more awkward for him, especially since according to Shouyou he seemed well-versed in the art. It was probably sketchy since he was the one to suggest it in the first place, but it really was Kenma's first time. Shouyou was Kenma's first for a lot of things, first love, first kiss, first time, first person he'd ever wanted to do anything of that nature with... He wasn't sure if he was flattered by the younger's notion.

They did say it was always the quiet ones...

um... well... alright.  so uh...i... ???

The setter felt bad for putting his boyfriend in this situation. He was obviously feeling kind of uncomfortable, not that he himself didn't either. For some odd reason, he thought that this would be a fun experience for the both of them.

Damn Google search and its persuasive articles. Articles made everything seem so much better and so much easier than they actually were.

i probably shouldn't have said anything...

no no!! it's ok!! it's just... weird... but i know sometimes at night i uh. start thinking about you. and. want you with me. so this is a good alternative...!!

Kenma smiled. It was still surreal to know that someone loved him as much as he loved them. 

It was a foreign feeling, but it felt wonderful to want and be wanted.

exactly. hrm, i guess we should try to be more natural about it. we'll save it for a later day...

In order to turn everything back to normal, Kenma decided to transition into a world that Shouyou was more comfortable with.

so anyway, tell me about practice.

practice today?? it was fun as always! and nishinoya-senpai bought me ice cream afterwards!! :-D

Kenma ignored the jealousy and murderous impulse that overcame him over the fact that he was too far to buy Shouyou ice cream himself. Then again, it was probably a good thing; he wouldn't be able to resist Shouyou's charms and probably would buy him at least five popsicles any time he asked. He'd buy Shouyou whatever he wanted at any time, really; Shouyou made him feel weak like that. He waited for another text. Shouyou usually went on a tangent whenever he talked about his day; he was cute and he didn't want to interrupt.

oh! also, the funniest thing happened today you should have been there to see it!! kageyama got soo mad, lol :P

He sank into his bed with a smile.

what happened? i want to hear all about it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After that painfully awkward conversation, neither of the two mentioned their attempt for a while. The second year was somewhat relieved; that exchange was possibly one of the most embarrassing things he'd ever had to experience, and it was his fault in the first place. It would probably haunt him for the rest of forever.

However, one day, after Kuroo presented him with a frustrating surprise, Kenma couldn't help but text his boyfriend to complain. He didn't know about the next disaster that was about to unfold.

i found a box of condoms on my table from kuroo. he wrote "for the shorty next time!" on it... he's so annoying i swear i'm gonna kill him one day. thank god my mom didn't find it.

The dyed blonde groaned into his pillow, letting his phone fall beside him. He hid it under the bed, not knowing where else to put it where it would be safe from all visiting eyes.

As annoying as he was, the gesture was actually very considerate. They probably would need it at a later time.

Kenma hated Kuroo. A lot.

i'm not that short!!! and um... wow...  oh really?? well that was nice of him, even though he's also kind of weird. and at least next time we'll be prepared! unlike... um...

Kenma felt his ears go red at the mention of their tryst. 

That time.

That painful, awkward but surprisingly decent first time. Kenma's butt started feeling sore at the mention of it, but he did have to admit that despite it being one of the most uncomfortable things he'd ever felt, they didn't completely screw it up. Being in such close proximity with someone, to have them actually inside you... It was the most intimate, warmest feeling he'd ever had the pleasure to experience.

He wanted to see him again.

next time... when will that be?

maybe soon!! i want to visit you one of these days again and you can show me more cool places!! when we're not tired out from practice though...

He took a deep breath. Damn it, visualizing Shouyou and his fluffy orange hair, bright eyes, and surprisingly muscular arms... thinking about him coming to visit and what they could get into this time after getting their first time done...

He was starting to feel a little aroused. 

that sounds nice. but you know, i wouldn't mind getting tired with you..

Kenma cursed himself for sending that text, knowing the innuendo definitely wouldn't go lost even if it was Shouyou since it was so blatantly obvious. Hopefully Shouyou wouldn't feel too weird or remember the time they tried to sext. He could only pray for a miracle to happen.

really? what would you want to do to... get tired?

Holy shit. He pinched himself to make sure this wasn't some sick dream.

Shouyou...?

ah... um... well i've been reading some stuff online and. thinking more about... what we tried to do before and i. think i'm ready to try this again.

He still couldn't believe his own eyes.

w-wha...?

um... lemme make it more clear then! xO

kenma!!!! i want to sext you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The said teenager almost threw his phone at the wall. This was so surreal. A range of emotions fluttered inside of Kenma, but excitement was definitely one of them. 

And embarrassment at how Hinata said it so openly, of course.

ah... um... i'm okay with it. and, if you need help, i'll try my best. we can look stuff up and whatnot... we'll be alright.

ok!!!! phew!!!!!!!!! i thought it would be weird if i said this again but!!!! LET'S DO THIS! >OOOOO

_'This is weird,'_ Kenma thought, his face becoming more red and his libido becoming more confused as the night progressed, _'But a good kind of weird. After all, Shouyou makes everything good...'_

 

 

* * *

 

 

After their first successful time, Shouyou insisted on practicing at least once a week. Kenma honestly would have preferred not to do it so much since it never stopped being embarrassing, and was bewildered at Shouyou's persistence on the matter.

"We gotta get good at it! Or at least, I gotta get better since you're really good at it for some reason!" He argued one day on the rare occasion the shy boy allowed a phone call, "That way, it feel almost like the real thing!"

They still weren't able to see each other, occupied with school and club activities constantly, and Kenma felt kind of bad since Shouyou obviously was trying really hard for him. He was the one who brought it up in the first place as well, feeling even more guilt, but he meant for it to be a rare occurrence when loneliness got too much to bear.

Besides, practicing sexting was plain  _weird_. He wasn't sure if he wanted Shouyou to be good at it... Or that he wanted to know that he was talented at describing ways he'd suck a dick.

He _really_ shouldn't have said anything in the first place.

It was a particularly intense session that night, and Kenma was on the edge of his bed waiting for Shouyou to text back, face flushed and breaths desperate and praying for some relief soon.

ugh kenma... i want to be with you right now. i want to feel you ukelele me...

What the fuck.

...what?  Kenma felt his dick go soft.

SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **UNDERWATER!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ***UNDERNEATH!!!!

THAT'S WHAT I MEANT. UNDERNEATH... HOW DO YOU TURN AUTOCORRECT OFF?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!? X_______X

Despite getting blue balls, Kenma couldn't be mad at all. Shouyou was difficult to be mad at in the first place, and the sheer ridiculousness of the situation made him snort.

go to your settings... i'm honestly surprised this didn't happen sooner.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Sexting had, oddly enough, become a part of their routine. He would never admit it to anyone (or admit that he'd been sexting in the first place), but Kenma was actually kind of having fun. Shouyou was adorable and tried really hard to be descriptive, and at the time it would be extremely embarrassing, but looking back it was actually kind of hilarious. His innocence was one of the cutest parts to him.

However, sometimes his innocence wasn't endearing and was just plain wrong, as Kenma found out one night while playing a mini game with Shouyou the Tamagotchi.

Why did Shouyou send him emojis that looked vaguely like... him trying to project himself jacking off into Kenma's mouth and kissing right afterwards.

shouyou what are you doing................

i looked up how to sext better online!! they said emojis are cute and a fun way to sext your partner... you can guess what i'm doing right? :P

yeah.. um.. please don't do that.

After that statement, Shouyou grudgingly said fine and things commenced as normal, but the next night before bed, the first year was back at it again.

__

kenma i'm gonna....BLOW YOU AWAY TONIGHT. with my awesome sexting powers!!

...i thought i told you to stop doing that.

 

* * *

 

 

Kenma opened up his Tamagotchi app and sighed. Why was Shouyou trying so hard to make sexting with emojis a thing?

He was not going to narrate a handjob through emojis. It was so unsettling.

"You're easier to take care of than the real Shouyou is," he muttered unwittingly to his phone before he realized that Shouyou the Tamagotchi was lying in a pile of his own shit, his eyes turned into two x's that signified death. He had been so preoccupied with Shouyou the Boyfriend and their sexting adventures lately that he forgot to clean up after Shouyou the Tamagotchi, who shit himself to death.

"...Damn it. I guess not."

 

 

* * *

 

 

After some time, it seemed like they were finally getting kind of good at this. Or at least a little decent. After a few dirty texts, Kenma quite literally decided to fuck it and shoved his hands down his pants. A few minutes and a fulfilling jacking off session later, he felt his phone vibrating, grabbing a tissue from his bedside table and cleaned himself before checking it.

i got off! Awkward much... but at least he wasn't the only one on that boat. They seemed to be able to do it a lot lately. It was quite a change to his lazy lifestyle, but Shouyou was always one to make him feel pumped up.

He fumbled a bit, still flustered from his session, before typing up a response.

ah...yeah...same...

An awkward silence followed.

that was fun. although i'd rather you be with me..

yeah. i'd clean you up, licking your dick off after making you come.

um, we both got off... so you can stop sexting... you don't have to say this stuff anymore...

The second year felt his ears go red.

sorry... i thought it fit the mood.

sometimes it scares me at how good you are at this...

 

* * *

 

The both of them had been extremely busy lately in attempt to prepare for some scheduled local matches, so texting had become scarce. Kenma missed Shouyou's updates on his day, his precious pictures of whatever he felt like sending (mostly pictures of himself since Kenma liked seeing his face) and texting him almost constantly, but both Kuroo and his boyfriend were nagging for him to pay attention and train for the team.

After a particularly intense practice one day, Kenma headed straight for his room and flopped onto the bed. He did not like feeling so exhausted, but volleyball was beginning to suck the life out of him. He groaned to himself before feeling a vibration in his pocket, and feeling a fluttering in his stomach, he took out his phone and opened his texts.

Shouyou.

i miss you!!!!!!!!! :(

They hadn't texted each other in so long, sexting and in general. He really hated not being able to contact him as regularly as before.

i miss you too. a lot...

<3 i love you. i hope you win your game tomorrow!! let's play each other soon ok!!

Yeah... soon.

i hope so too...

and i love you too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Many, many weeks later, the couple finally somehow started sexting without it feeling like the most awkward thing on the planet. Shouyou had determined that they were good at it now, so they didn't do it too often anymore. It was still very cumbersome to deal with, but it did cease to be as embarrassing as it was initially, and it was a relieving thing to do whenever they were feeling frustrated. It was quite a commendable feat for a self-conscious second year and his blissfully oblivious boyfriend.

Of course, the Gods were cruel and once something good happened to Kenma another embarrassment was bound to follow.

It was another day at practice when the setter's phone went off. Kenma, having actually felt somewhat motivated thanks to Shouyou, was serving for the team while Kuroo took a small water break. Suddenly, Kenma's phone vibrated, and the captain picked it up.  

"Hey, you got a new text from your short- _What the hell._ "


End file.
